Eight is a number I have always liked. I guess you could call it my lucky number. 1988 is the year I was born, and thirty-eight is the age I will be at the end of the year.

The number eight has been significant and has played a role in my life. Or, more likely, it is the meaning I gave it.

I don’t want to go into a rabbit hole and explain every year that ended with an eight, or what happened when I was 8, 18, 28, and so on. Most likely, it is the importance I gave it and nothing else.

However, I made two decisions regarding the number 88, and that is what I want to talk about.

First of all, I will stop blogging about my personal life at Blog 88. That will probably be around next year somewhere, so there are still plenty of blogs to go. All good things come to an end, and so far, this blog has served its purpose. At least, that is how I feel.

Now it sounds like I am already done with it, but that is not the case. There are still plenty of things to write about, and there always will be. The purpose of this blog was to log my progress as a person, but also to share my story, rediscover who I am, and write it down.

I would love for my blogs to stop at happily ever after. That I get the house or apartment, the girl, and the kid, and rekindle things with the people dear to me. But that is something that probably won’t happen by the end of this blog, and that is fine.

Life isn’t a sprint. It is a marathon.

Life is about showing up and consistency. It is about enjoying the little things, the memories of the past, being present in the moment we live in, and making the best of the little we have, while hoping for a brighter future.

And I personally need to remind myself often of all this, and that is also okay. I am only human.

The second decision I made is the following: I am going to take my weight loss a lot more seriously. Not just eating healthy here and there, but really dropping to my target weight, which is, you guessed it, 88 kg.

Meaning, as things stand now, I need to lose about 34 kg before my final blog. This is also more of a guideline, but wouldn’t it be nice?

The reason why 88 kg matters is because it is the last weight where I remember feeling good in my own skin. I was still a bit on the heavy side according to BMI, but I remember feeling good. I remember feeling like myself.

And if I want to live a bit longer and do more things like hiking, climbing mountains, dancing, skydiving, snorkeling, and whatever other adventures I still want to chase, then I need a fitter body.

I don’t want 88 kg to just mean that I lost weight. I want it to mean that my body finally matches the inner change that has already been happening. I have changed a lot on the inside. Now I want the outside to slowly catch up too. No matter how weird this might sound to you, it is logical in my head.

When I was in therapy, I said I felt like I had two sides to me. When I was asked to name them, I told my therapist one would be called the hermit and the other one the adventurer.

Long story short, the hermit overthinks, and the adventurer is impulsive and just wants to get shit done, no matter how. They often fight each other, and that creates inner conflict.

I was asked what I would call the version of those two merged, if I were to balance them out. I called him the true adventurer. Someone who still thinks, but moves fearlessly forward. There is more to these two sides, but again, long story short.

I feel like I am near the guy I want to be, but the weight is the next big obstacle. So for the sake of my next change, the weight has to go.

The mental weight is mostly lifted. All that is left is the physical part. And I don’t need to be jacked or anything. A regular body will do.

I really want to be that “true adventurer,” in body and soul.

At 88 blogs, I wonder where I will be in life. How much I will have changed by then. Who knows? Maybe I will change my mind and keep blogging anyway, and that is the wonderful part of being human.

You are not bound to yesterday’s thoughts or beliefs. You can change your mind about anything and change your life around, one step at a time.

As they say in French:

“Il n’y a que les imbéciles qui ne changent pas d’avis.”

Only fools never change their minds

Small note: next week’s blog will be a short one. It will be a poem I wrote a while ago and only finished recently.

I’ll also be taking pictures again for the dance school, and I need some time to edit them. Last time, I got stressed out because of the deadlines, so I wanted to finish this blog a little earlier.

Reflection Chapter: Lucky Number Eight

Life Chapter: Theme Parks, and Wolves