Life Chapter: Animals, Photography, Sketchbooks, and blue Sky

I took pictures for the dance school. It was challenging taking pictures of people dancing. Unfortunately, my settings were wrong. I forgot to double-check. Out of roughly 1,300 pictures, about 10% survived.

I would love to post them on my website, but I don't really dare to. I shared them within the dance community and with the people whose pictures I took. I got some compliments.

Later, I realized it had been since March that I had taken any pictures, and I didn't use the new camera back then, so I lacked practice.

There is something that started to bother me lately, and it is really dumb. I actively take part in the dance community, and when I see people at parties, I hear things like, “Oh yeah, I know who you are. You are Andy from the group chat.” That happened a couple of times.

With the pictures I took for the dance school, I said it wasn't necessary to tag me. I also didn't add a watermark to my pictures. People approached me and told me the pictures were really nice. I heard that several times. I was like, “Hehe, thanks. I just took them for the school.”

I can do without all the attention. I don't like being the center of it. I know everyone is being nice, but I really don't enjoy being in the spotlight.

As odd as this might sound, I do like helping people out. I take an active role in the dance community and sometimes organize things, like trips to Brussels to dance, but I could do without the recognition that comes with it.

I guess I need to come to terms with this. Helping without gathering attention probably isn't possible. Well, helping and taking an active part in a massive group chat does come with some attention. All this attention does drain me, or maybe it is the underlying insecurity that bothers me. Hmm, I need to sit down one of these days and think about it.

So, due to the lack of practice and the need to recharge my batteries, I went and did my long-awaited trip to Rotterdam, Blijdorp Zoo last weekend. It was about time I went. I kept making excuses not to go, although I really wanted to make a weekend out of it, but right now that is not possible.

I noticed I needed some time for myself. So I went on a road trip by myself.

I canceled plans with several friends since I felt like I was close to burnout. I did feel very guilty. I don't like canceling plans, but alone time for me isn't optional. It is necessary. It helps me reset and ground myself.

I had too much social contact these last couple of months. Too many parties, too many projects running, and not enough time to do nothing but relax or do my own thing.

So I needed to recharge, like Pieter told me when I told him about all this: “You went from zero to 1000 in a small window of time.” He was among the people I had to cancel plans with. He seemed to understand my dilemma. I am grateful for that.

I finally had some time for myself this past weekend. Just animals, my photo gear, my sketchbooks, and the blue sky.

Other than that, summer in Belgium has really settled in. We are facing a second heat wave.

My fav pic of the whole blijdorp set