Perspective vs. Perception

Today, I’m not sure if what I’m about to say will make sense —
explaining this is hard for me.
Nevertheless, I’ll try.

Everybody knows the saying:
“Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.”

That’s perspective.
It’s the act of trying to understand someone else’s life — stepping into their world, their struggles, their way of seeing things.
But to do it right, you have to put some of your own biases aside.

You can’t just shrug it off with a quick
“Well, if I can do it, so can you.”
That’s not empathy.
That’s still your perception talking — your filter, your version of how life works, based on your own story.

Some quick examples:

• Saying “They should just try harder” without knowing someone’s mental health story?
  That’s perception, not perspective.

• Telling someone to “just move on” after a breakup, without understanding the emotional depth of that connection?
  Again — perception.

• Assuming someone is lazy because they don’t have a job?
  That’s not seeing the full picture.
  That’s just the angle you’re standing from.

What’s the difference?

Perspective asks you to move — mentally, emotionally — into a different space. It’s not just about saying you understand. It’s about trying to, and letting go of judgment long enough to actually listen.

Your perception is how you interpret what’s happening. Perspective is when you try to see through someone else’s eyes, even when it doesn’t match your worldview.

And most of the time… we confuse the two. We say we understand, but we’re really just seeing things through our own lens.

I’m guilty of it too. We all are.

What I’ve learned lately:

Sometimes you really want to understand someone you care about —
but you’re annoyed with them, angry even, or just confused by how they’re acting.
That’s the moment to stop and shift.
Let go of your perception of the world…
and try to see their perception of their world.

It’s not easy.
But it’s worth it.

Everyone has their own story.
Everyone is afraid of something.
And I’ve found that when I pause and ask:
“What are they afraid of?”
…that’s when I begin to understand them better.
Or at least… understand the moment they’re in.

It’s important to realize that once someone overcomes their anxiety or fear,
they often return to a better version of themselves.
We owe each other patience.
We owe each other empathy.

So the next time someone you care about is acting differently —
maybe they’re quiet, overwhelmed, or distant —
try asking yourself:
“What are they afraid of?”

Because fear and anxiety often sit quietly underneath it all.
And once you start there, you begin to gain real perspective.

Trying to understand what motivates someone can help too —
but in my experience, it usually starts with fear, not motivation.

That’s my perspective.
There may be other perceptions of this, of course.

Thanks for reading — this one’s been on my heart for a while.
If it made you pause, even for a second, I’m glad.