The Grief No One Talks About: Losing a Friend
Searching for Answers
When I was at the pinnacle of grieving the loss of that friendship (and honestly, I’m still grieving), I looked for answers in books and movies. I wanted help, some guidance—but I quickly realized that information on how to deal with friendship loss is scarce.
A Silent Kind of Grief
It feels like, in our society, we often push grief around friendship aside, as if it's not important. Romantic loss is given so much more weight. But from what I’ve read on Reddit, and from talking to people on Discord and close friends, I’ve learned that losing a best friend can be just as painful—sometimes even more so—than losing a romantic partner.
Losing Your Chosen Family
Losing your best friend, the person you could be fully yourself with, the one who felt like chosen family—that kind of grief cuts deep. And yet, people seem to throw friendships away way too easily, even close ones. That really bothers me about the world we live in right now. I’ve come to accept it, but acceptance doesn’t mean it’s okay.
Where Are the Stories?
And it brings me back to the original question—why is there so little information, so few books or movies, that deal with the loss of friendship? It doesn’t make sense to me. It’s a huge emotional experience, and yet it’s barely acknowledged.
Not Just Romantic
The more I read, the more I see how similar friendship loss is to romantic loss. You care for that person deeply. You love them—not in a romantic way, but with the same intensity. Sometimes even more. Close friendships are built on years of trust, laughter, shared experiences, and vulnerability. When that breaks, it’s not just sad—it shatters something inside you.
Still On My Mind
I know I’ve talked about this at length with a few people before, but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest again. It’s been on my mind for a very, very long time.
Hope Without Waiting
I still hope that one day, the people I’ve had a falling out with will come around. That we’ll talk it out and be friends again. But I also know I can’t wait around for that. Life goes on. And when I feel ready, I might try again. But if silence is all I get, I’ll take that as my answer—and I’ll move on. Not out of bitterness, but out of self-respect.
Letting Go, Kindly
I don’t like giving up on people. But when you keep pushing for something that’s completely broken, and the other party puts in no effort to fix it... that’s not friendship anymore. That’s you hurting yourself.
What I Really Needed to Say
I guess the point of this blog today is just to vent a little. To say that we don’t talk enough about the pain of losing a friend. That people today seem to give up on friendships too easily. Life is hard—we all go through things. But sometimes, sticking by a friend even when it’s tough... it matters. It pays off. At least, I’d like to believe it does.
