69. Reflection Chapter: the old Bucket list

Well, I dug up my bucket list. This isn't the original one, but a second version I rewrote, and apparently I even made a third? I completely forgot about that one. I was happy when I found this, but I am going to make a new version either way and use the old ones as inspiration.

I'll let you read the list below. I cleaned it up a little and marked which ones I've done, which ones I haven't, and which ones are still ongoing.

1. Alaska — ✓ Done

2. Northern Lights - ✓ Done

3. Skydive - Not yet

4. Play at least one song on the guitar - ✓ Done

5. Draw - ✓ Done

6. Help anyone - ✓ Done

7. Japan - ✓ Done

8. Be a good friend once? - ✓ Done

9. Help a homeless person - ✓ Done

10. Lose weight - Not yet

11. Drive an old Mustang - Not yet

12. Tibet / Nepal - Not yet

13. Hot spring - ✓ Done

14. Paris - ✓ Done

15. Prague - Not yet

16. Write a book - Ongoing

17. Wife and kids (maybe) - Not yet

18. Go on a cruise - ✓ Done

19. Terracotta Army - ✓ Done

20. See wolves - ✓ Done

21. Look back on Don Bosco - ✓ Done

22. Ride with sled dogs - ✓ Done

23. See a totem - ✓ Done

24. Organise a party - ✓ Done

25. Get my own place - Not yet

26. Learn to cook - ✓ Done

27. Look back on my life - ✓ Done

28. Finish the first 27 before I am 32. Skipping nr. 17 is okay though. - No longer possible

29. New Zealand - ✓ Done

30. Get a tattoo - ✓ Done

31. Alaska again - Not yet

32. Japan again - Not yet

33. Get a degree - ✓ Done

As you can see, I have done most things on the list. The things I am currently working on are still on there. Some, like 17, aren't completely in my control, while 28 obviously can't happen anymore, but I still wanted those things when I wrote the list.

As for getting a degree, I did get a degree as a concept artist, although I think what I meant back then was going back to school and getting a bachelor's degree.

On the original list, I put the years I did them, but some have multiple years on them, which I think now is redundant. If I've done it once, it can be crossed out.

Looking at it now, I actually did a lot more of what younger me wanted than I realised.

A bucket list is something I find intimate, but I wanted to share this one. Some things, like doing Alaska again and Japan again, are more spiritual because I found some bigger piece of myself in those two places. That's why I yearn to go back there once more in the future.

In particular, Alaska. I have been thinking about that one a lot lately, but going there has become ridiculously expensive. There is that silent agreement I made with myself: the year I move out is the year I go back. I don't think I'll be able to uphold that promise, and that's okay. I think I was naive back then, thinking I would have enough money to do both. My priorities have changed.

I want to go to Spain more often to learn Spanish, especially the Spanish from Córdoba, where my mom's side of the family is from. Their accent and traditions have become really important to me lately. Not even sure why. Because it's part of my DNA? Part of my grandma's legacy? I don't know if my sister has that same drive or push as I do to learn Spanish.

And I bet some of you have questions about this list, and I guess I could answer them, but that's not really the point of this blog. The point is to remind myself that having goals and dreams, putting them on paper, and being able to cross them off is satisfying and gives me something to look forward to.

I guess reading those bucket lists once in a while also reminds me of what I truly want to do with my life. This is why I decided to make time and make a new one for the coming years. At the top of that list will be the ones I haven't had the chance to realise yet.

Although, like I said before: “Finish the first 27 before I am 32. Skipping nr. 17 is okay though.”

I'll be 38 at the end of the year, and well, number 17 was never completely in my control anyway.

Well, I thought this blog would go deeper than this, explaining why some of these things are on there, but a bucket list is just a list of things we want to do with our lives. It doesn't need to be "deep," I guess.

Some of the items on this list are also values. "Be a good friend once?" seems odd now that I reread it, but I understand old me very well. The me now still shares the same value. I want to be someone people can count on, certainly my friends. Life is hard enough. If I can help someone, I do it with all I have. If they are happy, so am I.

But in the meantime, I also learned that sometimes I need to put myself first. That is equally important.

must have looked like that when i wrote around it i was 16 or 17 on that pic